Play at The Bay

First and foremost, happy birthday to SW! He's turning 28 today. So bro, hope you get a girlfriend to satisfy your physical and emotional needs, and hope that your career takes off.


Second, congratulations to Hazeman! Why? Because he has become a Singapore Citizen! So, he'll no longer be called the Hazeman, perhaps "Millionaire-Ministers Man".


Back to golf, Tering Bay is clustered together with Palm Springs resort. So, like Palm Spring, you can get there by taking the ferry from Tanah Merah Ferry Terminal. Upon reaching Nongsa, Batam, the friendly staff will grab your passports for "express immigration clearance" and usher you to their bus.

Amenities: B

Strangely, golf resorts in Batam has the same flavor with regards to locker rooms. Similar to Palm Spring, Tering Bay's changing area is nice, but the shower and toilet area is so-so. To some atas golfers, they may be crap. One weird thing is that the massage room is connected directly to the changing area. So masseuses may pop out suddenly and ask you for a massage while you are butt naked. Food is pretty nice and affordable. Around SG$5-6 for a dish, while a jug of beer costs $14.50.

Course: B-

While you get nice view of the sea in Palm Spring, what you'll see in Tering Bay is what I assume to be the Batam town skyline. When you are near the coast, strangely, it's not fine sandy beaches, but mangrove plants. So scenery-wise, don't expect too much. Having said that, the fairways and greens are pretty well-maintained. And bunkers, yes, muther-freaking bunkers. Before you go to Tering Bay, better brush up on your bunker shots. They are all over the course! Greg Norman is sure sadistic.

Scores:

Well done Josh. Played consistently. Can't thrash you like last time already.



CE

News Flash! Golf Degenerates Your Mind!

Singapore - Golfers here suffer a syndrome called "missing-linkus". It is a condition whereby fully grown adults turn into uneducated, low IQ apes.

Once on the golf course, they:

• Couldn't count beyond double par per hole.
• Couldn't count more than 3 on the putting greens
• Don't know the meaning of "penalty plus distance"
• Have wild imaginations, creating extra clubs like the hand wedge and foot wedge
• Think that OB refers to some women's hygiene product

When asked if the golfers are aware that they've developed missing-linkus, a handsome Singaporean golfer, who only gave his name as CE said, "Huh? What missing-linkus? We're just having fun on the golf course."

Scores:


And, here's Hazeman's detailed, statistically-filled and accurate score card:


CE

Phuket Golfing - Friendly and Somewhat Expensive

My apologies for taking such a long time to update the blog. After coming back from Phuket, I had to prepare for another trip to Ho Chi Minh City. Nevertheless, here are the golf courses that we visited in Phuket:

Blue Canyon Lakes Course:

• Amenities: A+

Blue Canyon hosted the 2007 Johnny Walker Classic. So we’re quite glad that we chose to play at this world class golf resort. Facilities are really top-of-the-line here; the locker room is very spacious, toilets are squeaky clean and the showers are marble-walled. Machiam luxurious hotel room sia.

As for the food, it’s quite expensive. I should know, because I promised to give a treat if I got my first birdie (which I did). Simple lunch for 3 consisting of green curry, some noodles with broth, rice with meat and drinks set me back around 1000 THB.

• Course: A

SW teeing off from the first hole at Lakes Course

We played on the cheaper Lakes Course. Their signature Canyon Course, which costs around SG$200+ per 18 holes, is too expensive for our liking. Still, the Lakes Course is very well maintained with its nicely manicured greens and fairways. With a name like “Lakes Course”, there are obviously water hazards on almost every hole, and we lost quite a number of balls here. The surrounding mountains enhanced the enjoyment of the course. The caddies here carry your golf bags, making you feel like a pro on tour. We felt kind of bad because they are ladies, but I guess it’s their job and they’re used to it.

Scores:


Loch Palm Golf Club

• Amenities: B

Loch Palm Golf Club’s facilities reminded me of Seletar Base. The locker room is quite dark, a bit smelly and has dirty tiled floors. The shower rooms use cheap plastic curtains as separators. When we first got into the locker room, nobody was there and we had to sign in and grab the keys ourselves. Not a good welcoming experience.

The saving grace was the food – cheap and good. It cost us half the amount compared to Blue Canyon.

• Course: A+

Loch Palm Golf Club has three beautiful 9-hole courses, generically named A, B and C. A gigantic lake dominates the landscape of courses A and B. I suppose that’s why there’s the “Loch” in “Loch Palm”. We played on courses A and C. Course A is similar to the Lakes Course at Blue Canyon - water hazards all over with mountains surrounding it. Nice.

SW again teeing off. This time from the first hole of the picturesque Course C

As for mountain-perched Course C, it’s definitely the most interesting and best course that we’ve ever played in. Firstly, the new and carpet-like grass was really nice to play on, meaning, lies are always excellent if you drive your ball onto the fairways. As for the scenery, it’s absolutely breathtaking since it’s so high up. I’d pay money to fly all the way to Phuket and play on this course again.

Scores:



Laguna Golf Club

• Amenities: A+

The Hazeman thought that the locker room facilities here are better than the one at Blue Canyon. I don’t really agree with that, but still, it’s very nice and luxurious nonetheless. We didn’t eat here as it’s really expensive and we wanted to eat in town.

• Course: B+

The first nine was very, very generic. There is nothing interesting to see. No mountains, no lakes, and no bikini babes. Holiday chalets and unspectacular buildings dot the entire course. That’s pretty much about it. As for the fairways and greens, they’re OK. It’s the least that you’d expect from a “club” golf course.

Hazeman, at hole 1, Laguna Phuket

The back nine is very much better than the first. A nice big lake dominates the landscape. The setting evening sun added a nice backdrop for us to end the game.

Scores:



All in all, golfing in Phuket is nice and friendly. The service staff and caddies are what you’d expect from the Thais, warm and hospitable. But, golf here is rather expensive compared to Malaysia and Indonesia. The courses we visited cost around SG$150 per round, and caddies demand tips of 200-300 THB (the caddies at Blue Canyon rejected our initial tip of 100 THB).

The weather can be quite scorching especially during the back nine if you tee off in the morning. As for the pace, it’s more hectic than we expect. You can take a few mulligans and casually search for your balls, but there are always flights at the back only 1 or 2 holes away. The only exception is Loch Palm Course C, where we took our own sweet time and took plenty of photos. Check them out here.

CE